Friday, May 30, 2008

It's Tiiiimmmee!

Cosmpolitan

4 parts Citron Vodka
2 parts Cointreau or Triple Sec
2 parts Cranberry Juice
1 part Lime Fresh Juice

Very is a weekly free-association by Elizabeth Spiridakis, in which she calls it like she sees it.

The closer we get to the May 30th release of the “Sex and the City” movie, the more these promo pics keep popping up. They are presumably meant to spark our interest in what promises to be two hours of relentless shopping, dating and complaining. But we’re much more interested in the behind the scenes goss because this picture suggests it was no slumber party happy times on that set.

This forced group hug is:

  • Very very uncomfortable. They look so disconnected and like they hate each other as much as the tabloids suggest. Would anyone be surprised if this picture turned out to be four separate images photoshopped together?
  • Very ladies who lunch…on the blood of virgins and sacrificed lambs. They all have crazy eye!

We’re also getting very different vibes from each of these ladies:

Kim Cattrall is:

  • Very “Real Housewives of New York.” Aren’t cougars out by now? Her face is frozen in a hate smile mask and we can just hear her hissing, “If your skinny little shoulder comes even close to blocking my cleavage, I will cut you, Parker.”
  • Very Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter, the kind of woman whose diamonds are older than her boyfriends.

Sarah Jessica Parker is

  • Very Julia Roberts Oscar speech forced sincerity. Gee whiz, wow, I’m a star? I love everyone! Wheee!
  • Very Cha-cha de Gregorio meets Teen Vogue prom styling.

Cynthia Nixon is:

  • Very post sex-scandal humiliated wife. We have seen this face — the forced smile! — a lot lately in the news except behind Nixon’s is the awful realization that whatever amount of cash she was paid was not worth all this.
  • Very Forever 21 fun summer shift and matching belt. Definitely not the slick Miranda we remember.

Kristin Davis is

  • Very J Crew bridal collection (always the bridesmaid limited edition).
  • Very “Oohh, who dropped that butterfinger on the floor and can I have it?”

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